North Korea, Best Korea!
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
