My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize