I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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