M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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