Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
