So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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