This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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