I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
