When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
