He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
