I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
