i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My life is pants optional.
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