Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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