I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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