Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
sarcasm needs its own font
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
