We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
