I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
