I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Porn is love you can see.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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