do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
