stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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