Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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