It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
