White coat. Heels.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
