Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
