you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
