Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
