I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
