Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
