there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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