he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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