So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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