just come out here and I will go home with you...
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
