Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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