Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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