Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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