try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
