yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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