Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
