letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
