we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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