I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
