every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
do nipples grow back?
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