He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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