dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
