Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
