What a fucking waste of an outfit
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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