Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
