almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize