i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
