whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
