She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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