You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize