its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Dick very happy bro
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
