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Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
