We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
