Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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