the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize