I seem to have left my pride at pride
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
