this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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