The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
