I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
