You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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