Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i wish my penis had a tongue
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
